RADIO

DR. LAURA: WHY REAL MEN LOVE THAT BITCH

You either love her or hate her

By FRANKLIN PIERCE
Real Man Magazine, Editor and Publisher

 

O

.K.  I know.  Some women may find the word “bitch’ to be harsh and offensive.  But in Dr. Laura’s case, she’d probably tell you that she wears it as a badge of honor.

 

For those of you who aren’t aware, Dr. Laura hosts a radio talk show where she gives psychological advice.  Her show has one of the largest radio audiences in the country.  Her plain spoken, old fashioned value statements both infuriate her critics and delight her fans.  She often comes across as curt and insensitive, although she regularly demonstrates a sense of humor and riotous laugh.  You either love her or hate her.  Listen to Dr. Laura for a few minutes and you might think:  who’s this know-it-all bitch, belittling people with her holier than thou attitude?  Listen to her for a few hours and you’ll probably end up saying:  “Hmm, you know what?  She’s right”.  There’s no one out there who takes more crap from critics than Dr. Laura.  Whether you agree with what she says or not, you’ve got to hand it to her for being able to carry on in the face of relentless, endless, and vicious criticism.

 

Here’s why I think real men like her.

 

• She’s attractive. 

 

I know she’s about 60 these days, but here’s a woman who knows how to take care of herself.  She works out and stays in shape for her man.  That alone raises her stock sky high in my eyes.   Can you imagine?  A woman who actually puts in a solid daily effort to keep her body tight and sexy for her man?  What a concept!  Let’s face it, if it was an ugly old hag passing out the advice, it just wouldn’t have the same effect.

 

• She can kick some ass. 

 

Many people don’t know it, but Dr. Laura has a black belt in martial arts.  Yeah, I know.  I lot of people have black belts who couldn’t fight their way out of a paper bag.  But we need to give Dr. Laura her props.  After she got her black belt, she realized that she still couldn’t kick the ass of a blind metro-sexual midget in a tutu.  So she went back to training, focusing on fighting and sparring, until she could actually kick some man-ass.  I’d like to think I could still kick her ass, but I wouldn’t want to try it.  Why risk the embarrassment of getting your ass kicked by a woman approaching grandmahood?  However, I might challenge her to a game of naked mud wrestling.

 

 

• She rides a Harley. 

 

Yeah, she’s in to it.  She’s very enthusiastic and supportive of bikers and their causes.  Any woman who gets off on the vibrations of a high powered bike between her legs is golden in my book. 

 

 

Of course, these are just a few of the more superficial reasons we like her.  The main reason we like her is her support of real men.  She appreciates men.  No, not your wimpy, sissy, shrivel up and die when the going gets tough sort of guy, but your sex and food-starved, dominant alpha male animal. 

 

She encourages men to act like men.  As a matter of fact, she chastises men when they don’t act like men.  Don’t call her up and sound like a wimp.  You’ll get the phone shoved up your backside.  The other day she got a call from a guy telling about how his wife’s brother physically abused her right in front of him.  Dr Laura was shocked.  Not about the fact that the woman was abused, but by the fact that this guy, her husband, stood by and did nothing.  Needless to say, she had this guy screaming for his mommy when she was through with him.

 

 

For those of you who don’t know it, a real man defends the honor of his woman.  If some other man lays a hand on your woman you need to act.  No, you don’t have to belt the guy in the face, but at a minimum you should step in front of your woman, protect her, and leave.  On the other hand, it’s perfectly acceptable to belt the guy in the mouth if he just assaulted your woman.

 

Now, I’m not going to seriously claim that I agree with everything she says.  I don’t.  And of course, Dr. Laura would probably wince at a lot of the distasteful, perverted ramblings written in this magazine.  But I am telling you that she’s a very bright lady who tells a lot of self-centered, selfish, and bitchy women how to get their heads out of their arses and start treating their men right.  Imagine that - someone actually telling the world that many women don’t give their men enough sex, disrespect their men, bitch and complain too much, don’t really care about their man’s feelings, and generally don’t understand men.  These days you’re more likely to hear a priest come out for man-boy love, than hear another woman tell the world that women are too selfish and self-centered.

 

 

 

 

In her book, The Proper Care And Feeding Of Husbands, she tells women that men are simple creatures, and that they basically only require three simple things to keep them happy:  sex, food, and respect.  Yep, that about sums it up.  As one guy says in her book, “If I’m not horny, make me a sandwich.”  Another guy’s wife asked him what men want; he put it this way: “That's simple. Lots of sex and no nagging. What's so hard about that?”

 

And consider this quote from her book:

 

 “…men will typically suffer in silence long, long before they will complain or screech out in pain (isolation and alcohol abuse is where it shows), while women are more likely to use whining and complaining as a form of communication and even entertainment with their girlfriends. Men are simple. They know it. Women have to learn it if they expect to be truly happy with their man.”

 

Dr Laura is often asked by women when she’s going to write a book for men about the proper care and feeding of wives.  She responds that there’s no equivalency.  If women were honest, she states, they’d admit that they have the power in relationships, not the men.  If women treat men better, they get treated better in return.  However, she points out that this isn’t necessarily the case with women.  In other words, if a man treats a woman better, he’s not necessarily going to receive better treatment from his woman.  For example, she says that a man could eat two pounds of dirt for his woman in order to try and please her, but if a woman is in a mood, she’s going to stay in that mood even after a man makes that sacrifice.  Furthermore, she points out that men are just not as moody and will react much more positively and quickly if a woman makes an effort to treat him better, than if a man was doing the same thing for his woman.

 

She also talks about how easy it is for a woman to hold on to a good man:

 

“A good man is hard to find, not to keep." That sentence should really make you stop and think. As a radio talk-show host/psychotherapist, I've got to tell you how remarkably true and sad it is that so many women struggle to hold on to some jerk, keep giving an abusive or philandering man yet another chance, have unprotected sex with some guy while barely knowing his last name, agree to shack up and risk making babies with some opportunist or loser, all in a pathetic version of a pursuit for love, but will resent the hell out of treating a decent, hardworking, caring husband with the thoughtfulness, attention, respect, and affection he needs to be content.  It boggles my mind.”

 

            She often points out the truth that men have known forever:  that women put feelings on a pedestal - except when it comes to the feelings of their man.  Most women believe their feelings rule the universe, but at the same time, won’t give a second thought to the feelings of their man.  She suggests that if a woman believes a man has hurt her feelings, look out.  She’s out for blood.  But a woman doesn’t give a second thought to how her belittling, rude, and offensive comments impact the feelings of the man she loves.  She’s oblivious to it.

 

Finally, my favorite thing that she preaches is for women to act like ladies during the day, and sluts in the bedroom.  Now that’s my definition of a real woman.  Keep up the good work Laura. © www.realmanmag.com