EDITOR'S NOTES

Ramblings of a man, a real man

**WHY REAL MAN MAGAZINE?**

Have you taken a look at the so-called “Men’s Magazines” lately? You look at the cover and frequently see a male model with a shaved body, looking like he’s auditioning for a gay porno. Then you open up the magazine and see more ads of hairless guys (at least I think they’re guys) prancing around in sissy underwear. Turn another page and you see heterosexually challenged models sporting all sorts of ‘cool’ clothes a real man wouldn’t be caught dead in. Turn another page and you’ll see what appear to be pre-pubescent boys in what can only be described as homo-erotic positions. If these models aren’t gay, they certainly appear gay. (nothing against gays, I would just rather look at sexy women rather than gay men in my "men's magazine"). Even the female models in these ads have little or no breasts and are often dressed like boys. You’ll also find the magazine stuffed with ‘male’ beauty product and accessory ads. You can’t help but feel creepy after thumbing through these pages, and you haven’t even gotten to the girlie articles yet.

You hear us GQ, Men's Health, Men's Vogue, Best Life? We don't know anyone who finds those sissy articles and ads appealing or useful. That's where we come in. It's clear that most of the media and society want men to act more like women. We're here to tell them enough is enough. It's time we reversed course. Men should act like men. At a minimum they should be able to pick up a men's magazine and read about manly stuff, instead of the feminine crap you see in the magazines I mentioned above. We are here to fill that void.

But be warned. By making a simple statement that 'men should act like men', or that 'men should not act like women', you will be attacked, stoned, ball-gagged and sodomized by the girlie men of the media, feminists, and less than manly men who've become comfortable in their roles as metro-sexuals.

We say, 'to hell with them all'. It's time men stood up and declared once and for all that 'we love women, sex with women, sports, beer, cigars, bathroom humor, and scratching our balls. If you don't like it - get stuffed'.

Welcome men. Good to have you aboard. Make yourselves comfortable. Go on in and grab a beer, light up a cigar, and put your feet up. Cheers!

A MAGAZINE FOR REAL MEN

I set out to create a magazine for real men, by real men. If you’re not a real man, what you read within these pages will be so foreign to you, so offensive, so outrageous, that you’ll undoubtedly drop the magazine where you stand, sashay home, and curl up in the fetal position on your bedroom floor whimpering and sucking your thumb. Consider yourself warned.

Let's probe deeper into the other "men's magazines".

So you venture on into the magazine. You think to yourself, “Surely there’ll be articles written for real men beyond these gay advertisements.” But to your amazement you find such ‘manly’ articles as:

How to find the right manicurist;
Guide to the latest facial washes;
How to shave your body hair;
Breastfeeding for men;
An interview with a gay L.A. hairdresser they describe as ‘cool’ and proceed to highlight his clothing and accessory choices;
An article with a famous young musician where he suggests his thinking is more like that of a woman, than a man; and
An article where the male writer is fretting over whether his clothes are out of style and admitting that he probably sounds like a woman – you think?

I shit you not. I picked up another one of these “men’s magazines”, and there’s an article about how to fix a run in a sweater. Is it a magazine for men or for my grandmother?

And a side note to all of you male actors who appear on the covers of those sissy magazines: those magazines are trying to make you appear more feminine, not more masculine. If you’re trying to appeal to women and gays, you went to the right place. If you’re trying to appeal to real men, you’ve made a huge mistake. You should fire your agent and start thinking for yourself.

Let’s face it; there are no general interest magazines that are written for real men. Sure, you might find a specialty magazine like a hunting, fishing, sports, or biker magazine. But the so-called general interest men’s magazines are clearly written for gay, metro-sexual, and girlie men.

Now let me take this opportunity to state that I have nothing against gay, metro-sexual, or girlie men - at least, nothing more than they have against me for being a real man. I know plenty of these men. I’ve friends and relatives that fall in to these categories. The issue is that I don’t think or act like them, and therefore my interests are different.

It’s like Eddie Murphy joked about in his movie Delirious: “You can hang out with a gay person... You can play tennis with a gay person… Just after the game you say: "I'm gonna get a beer, what's you gonna do?" "I think I'm gonna suck some guy's dick." "Well, I'll see you later!" "You go suck that dick, I'm gonna have the beer."

We all have our own interests. The girlie men have plenty of magazines to choose from for their interests. I had none - until now. And I understand that not all men are born to be real men. I get that. The world is full of all kinds of people, of all shapes, size, creed, and colors. It’s a better place for it. But we shouldn’t discriminate against real men, just as we shouldn’t discriminate against non-real men.

This is a magazine for men who are fed up with the feminization of men - a place where we can seek solace in our manhood. Where we can drink, smoke, cuss, gamble, hunt, fish, watch sports, talk about women, and everything else real men do. It’s a place where we don’t have to turn a page and see a gay teenage cabana boy dressed in the latest sissy fashion laying on top of a body-shaven metro-sexual in his Speedo. Or take some advice from some wimpy New York writer who’s never been out of the city, despises beer, wears ‘man’ makeup, uses beauty products, and dresses like a host for Queer Eye For The Straight Guy. To me, that’s not a real man – that’s just real damn strange.

So how do you define a real man? Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart famously commented about the definition of pornography. He said that pornography was hard to define, but he knew it when he saw it. Similarly, a real man may be hard to define, but we know one when we see him – or talk to him.

I’m even distraught that I have to coin a new term to refer to a man – ‘Real Man’. Once upon a time, a man was a man. They were all real men. Well, almost all. Even the most proper gentleman would act like a man if you pissed him off. He’d either belt you in the mouth, or he’d challenge you to a duel and shoot you in the heart. He’d protect his woman and family from danger. He’d hunt, fish, and raise his food. He’d build the house he lived in. Unfortunately, those days are gone and they’re not coming back.

There are no checklists or hard and fast rules about what makes a man a real man. However, most real men do have certain characteristics. They tend to:

know how to defend themselves;
know one or more man skills like hunting, fishing, fixing, etc.;
be more rugged than polished;
know how to use power tools and build things;
like sports, drinking, smoking, dogs, motorcycles, trucks, fast cars, and sex with women;
know how to work on vehicles and be mechanically inclined;
be confident, intelligent, responsible, and independent;
take care of their family, and protect them from danger; and
save others during times of crisis.

These are just a few of the many characteristics that might define a real man. We can also define a real man in terms of what a real man is not. For example, a real man certainly is not a man who:

doesn’t bathe and has poor hygiene;
is rude or has no manners;
hits women;
does not provide for his family;
does not try to improve himself;
consistently is in trouble with the law;
regularly drinks or uses drugs to excess;
is a bad father;
is a mama’s boy;

someone who is familiar with and uses numerous beauty products;
shaves all of his body hair; and
puts polish on his finger nails – even if it’s clear.

And no, I don’t want to get in to any debates about who is or who isn’t a real man. I’m not trying to be the expert. We all have our points of view. I’ve set out some guidelines. I’m just here to give real men information they can use to inform and educate themselves on things that are important to them – things they won’t find in the metro-sexual magazines.

Thanks for reading. Together I know we can turn this thing around and spawn the resurgence of the real man. Enjoy.

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