MOVIE REVIEW

INDIANA JONES: ONE TOUGH OLD
SON OF A BITCH

See how a Real Man deals with a communist threat

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

ottom line:  A Real Man’s movie.  Just take it for what it is and you’ll enjoy it - an old fashioned adventure. 

It’s hard to make a sequel better than the original, and this one’s no exception.  It’s not even as good as any of its predecessors.  But I’m not going to hold that against it.  It’s an entertaining movie full of adventure, chases, gun play, and fighting.  Sure Indiana Jones looks old.  So what.  So does Spielberg, Lucas, and you.  Indy’s still tough as nails and mean as a pit bull.

Here’s what’s great about Indian Jones.  He’s the smartest guy in the room.  He’s just as comfortable in a suit and tie as he is in his ‘work’ clothes.  He knows how to use a gun and a whip.  He knows how to use his fists.  He has confidence.  He has integrity.  He’s a war hero.  Not once is he ever in danger of crying.  And because of all of the aforementioned, women want him.  All of this is on full display in the latest Indy adventure.

In our latest adventure, we find Indy accosted by communists.  Yes, communists.  Can you believe it - a current Hollywood movie which actually portrays Soviet communists as evil?  Most Hollywood royalty believe Castro, Lenin, Stalin, and Gorbachev are heroes.  Props to Spielberg for having the testicular fortitude to use the commies as the bad guys. 

And this just in – the Russian Communist Party is protesting.  They want a boycott of the movie, saying it distorts history.  Get in line comrades.  Hollywood has distorted history for years – usually at the expense of the United States.  Forgive me if I can’t get too excited because they fictionalized some events related to the Evil Empire.  After all, the movie is – FICTION.  Hello, McFly.  Anybody home? 

And more news just in – the Islamic extremists are calling for a boycott of Iron Man because it portrays them in a negative light.  They claim the scenes where they stab a peasant are demeaning.  They want a more accurate depiction where they saw the heads off while screaming ‘death to America, the great satan’.  Of course, since most of their supporters live in caves and have yet to discover indoor plumbing, chances are the boycott won’t have much of an impact on Hollywood revenues.

Of course, Spielberg couldn’t resist painting the American government as extremist McCarthyites.  He forces this negative portrayal of the Americans into the movie when it doesn’t really fit nor have a purpose for moving the story forward.   

CONTINUED - INDIANA JONES MOVIE REVIEW

Back to More Real Man Magazine Movie Reviews