MOVIE REVIEW

SEX AND THE CITY

A total chick's flick that you can use to your advantage

By LARRY OLIVIER
Movie Critic, Real Man Magazine

 

ottom Line:  What do you think?  It’s a total chick’s movie.  There’s not much here for guys, other than some occasional T&A.  However, if you play your cards right, you can leverage this movie into some sex.

 

What’s a real man doing going to see the ultimate chick’s movie?  Sex.  Any questions?

 

Every week, my wife and I have dinner with another couple.  The women plan the ‘when’ and ‘where’.  My wife informed me that we were meeting our friends at the theater to see Sex and the City.  Naturally, I was thrilled – I hope you can sense my sarcasm.  I could have protested and turned the night into one of sexual frustration, but I decided to go along with it for several reasons.

 

First, it was the other couple’s anniversary.  We were flattered that they wanted to include us in their anniversary plans.  And if seeing Sex and the City was what they wanted to do with their anniversary, who was I to object?

 

Second, I was hoping that the movie might include lots of titillating sex scenes.  (I was wrong – unless you count staring right into some guy’s ass while he’s having sex, a titillating sex scene).

 

Finally, I figured I might be able to parlay the goodwill I was creating with my wife by going along to see this movie, into our own movie entitled Sex with my Wife.

 

While we waited outside the theater for our friends to arrive, a virtual parade of women began to arrive:  women in large groups, couples of women, and women by themselves.  But no men.  Zero.  It was like I was going to a Chippendales show. When we got into the theater, it was full of women of all ages, shapes, and sizes.  To my surprise, there were two or three other men in there.  They probably either had the same idea as me, or they were gay.

 

After sitting through a series of horrible trailers for other chick movies, the movie finally got underway.  It picks up where the series left off – or so I’m told.  The movie focuses on one of four women friends who is about to get married. Right away we get treated to the women acting like self-centered queens who, not even for an instant, notice or care about how their men think or feel.  The men react and are immediately portrayed as the scum of the earth.  It was at this point that I started to slouch down in my chair.  You could feel the women’s claws in the theater begin to extract.  I was wondering if I was going to make it out of there alive.  Headline:  Man ball gagged and raped by gang of angry women after showing of Sex and the City.

 

This portrayal of men is ironic.  One poor bastard is married to an ice queen.  She hasn’t played with his balls in six months.  When he finally gets the chance to do the horizontal bop, she asks him to hurry up and get it over with.  After this guy’s balls are about to explode, he goes out and has some meaningless ‘get some relief’ sex.  His wife throws him out of the house and files for divorce.  After much groveling and sincere apologizing, he’s excoriated and banned from her life.

 

Contrast this man with a main woman character.  This sex craved woman lives with her boyfriend.  Next door lives another man to whom she is sexually attracted.  She very badly wants to ride his love bone.  However, she refuses to succumb to temptation, and even replaces her sexual desires with eating.  That’s right; she sacrifices her body in order to stay faithful to her man.  How noble.

 

On the one hand, the husband is portrayed as the devil when he has meaningless sex after being deprived of sex by the woman who supposedly loves him.  On the other hand the woman is portrayed as having the supreme moral conviction to sacrifice her body in order to avoid being unfaithful to her boyfriend.  Men = weak, bad.  Women = strong, good. O.K., I know.  What do you expect, it’s a women’s movie.

 

CONTINUED - SEX AND THE CITY